What is Learned Helplessness and Why do so many Neurodivergent Adults Live with it?

As a neurodivergent adult, I often reflect on how societal messages shape our lives. One idea that stands out is learned helplessness—a psychological condition that can develop when individuals repeatedly face failure or receive negative feedback. For many neurodivergent adults, learned helplessness often comes from a lifetime of being told their way of being is "wrong." In this blog post, I’ll dive into how society contributes to this issue and share practical tips for overcoming learned helplessness as an adult.

Understanding Learned Helplessness

Learned helplessness is a state where individuals feel powerless to change their circumstances due to repeated failures. Psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven Maier identified this concept in the late 1960s through experiments with animals. They found that when subjected to stress they could not control, these animals eventually stopped trying to escape, even when escape opportunities became available. How sad is that?!

Many adults who have experienced learned helplessness often struggle with the belief that they are incapable of overcoming challenges. After years of being made to feel inadequate or powerless, these individuals may internalize the notion that they cannot tackle difficult tasks. This perception, however, is not an accurate reflection of their true potential.

Personally, I have faced numerous challenges and have come to realize that I am indeed capable of achieving more than thought. The negative voices that linger from past experiences in childhood do not get to continue dictating my abilities or limit my accomplishments as an adult. With each attempt, I find that I often surprise myself, proving that perseverance and self-belief can lead to significant breakthroughs.

For many neurodivergent individuals, lifelong experiences can lead to feelings of helplessness. Repeated negative feedback and criticism can result in a belief that they cannot change their situations. This belief can be deeply damaging and lead to anxiety, depression, and a lack of motivation.

I strongly believe learned helplessness can be challenged and overcame.

The Societal Impact on Autistic Individuals

From childhood, neurodivergent individuals often face immense societal pressures regarding how they should behave and interact. These pressures often come from parents, teachers, peers, and media representations. Repeated negative messaging can make individuals feel inadequate.

The Role of Parents and Educators

Parents and educators significantly influence how autistic children view themselves. Many well-meaning adults unintentionally reinforce negative beliefs by focusing on what children do "wrong." According to a study published in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, nearly 60% of autistic individuals report feeling misunderstood by their educators. This cycle of negative reinforcement may lead to learned helplessness.

Media Representation

Media representations of autism often highlight deficits instead of strengths. A 2019 report from the National Autistic Society noted that 82% of autistic people feel that the media rarely shows the good sides of autistic individuals. When society primarily showcases negative narratives, it becomes difficult for neurodivergent individuals to see their value.

Overcoming Learned Helplessness

Despite the significant societal impact, overcoming learned helplessness is possible. Here are actionable tips for neurodivergent adults to regain their sense of agency:

Acknowledge Your Feelings

Recognizing your feelings is the first step. It's okay to feel frustrated or overwhelmed. Acknowledging these emotions helps you understand your experiences and start moving forward.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Next, challenge the negative thoughts that fuel feelings of helplessness. Ask yourself whether these thoughts are based in reality or simply assumptions. Often, we internalize societal messages that do not reflect our abilities.

Set Small, Achievable Goals

Setting small, attainable goals builds confidence. For example, if socializing feels overwhelming, start by aiming to have a brief conversation with someone once a week. Celebrate every accomplishment, however small.

Seek Support

Finding a supportive community can be incredibly empowering. Whether through support groups, social platforms, or friendships, connecting with others who share similar experiences can help combat feelings of isolation.

Practice Self-Compassion

Be gentle with yourself. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and it’s okay to struggle. Practicing self-compassion fosters a positive self-image and reduces helplessness.

Educate Yourself

Knowledge is power. Learning more about autism and learned helplessness can clarify your experiences. This understanding can empower you to advocate for yourself and educate others.

Seek Professional Help

If learned helplessness continues to affect your life, consider professional help. Coaches, therapists and counselors can provide valuable strategies to navigate these feelings and promote a more empowered mindset.

The Importance of Advocacy

For neurodivergent individuals, advocacy is crucial in combatting learned helplessness. Sharing our stories helps challenge societal norms and promotes a better understanding of neurodiversity. Advocacy can take many forms, from community events to online discussions.

Building a Supportive Community

Creating a supportive community is vital for fostering resilience among neurodivergent individuals. By lifting each other up and sharing resources, we can dismantle harmful narratives that contribute to learned helplessness.

Celebrating Neurodiversity

Embracing neurodiversity means recognizing the unique strengths and perspectives of all individuals. Shifting the focus from deficits to strengths allows for a more inclusive society that values all ways of being.

Finding a Brighter Path

Learned helplessness presents significant challenges for many neurodivergent adults, often rooted in societal messages that view their way of being as "wrong." However, by recognizing these experiences and applying practical strategies, it is possible to overcome this distressing mindset.

As we advocate for ourselves and others, we can work towards a world that celebrates neurodiversity and empowers individuals to reclaim their sense of agency. You are not alone on this journey. Together, we can pave the way for a brighter, more inclusive future.